Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How to Be a Successful Newlywed

Here at Emily Weddings, we're all about the planning and thinking ahead towards your big day, and we're with you every step of the way. But what about after the wedding, when it's all said and done? We've worked with some amazing couples who truly deserve all the happiness in the world and we care just as much about your new lives together as we do about planning your special day. Getting married is truly a milestone in anyone's life, but whoever said it would be a walk in the park, clearly has never been married before. Though your marriage will be full of fun memories, it will have it's bumps along the way. It's all about how well you handle them, not individually but together.

Courtesy of Mojuba Wedding:

Let’s face-it, sometimes it’s hard to think beyond the wedding, but it’s important for the engaged and the newly married to plan for success. Our resident wedding expert, and Mojuba Team Ring-Leader, Jackie James, has some tips for newlyweds that she has learned from years of wedding planning (and marriage) that will help you get your marriage started off on the right foot.
Avoid Getting Yourself Into Debt:
Starting your happily ever after with a stack of bills can add an incredible strain to your relationship. In these hard times, debt can often be a difficult thing to avoid… but, fights over your finances are avoidable if you and your hubby are on the same page about budget and spending. Your budget and spending styles should be discussed before you tie the knot, and communication about money should be maintained throughout your marriage. Remember, pretending money issues don’t exist doesn’t actually make them disappear.
Don’t Stop Dating…Each Other:
Keeping romance in your marriage takes work, and dates are a great way to spend time together. Getting married doesn’t mean that the wooing is over- Why should date nights end after you say “I Do”? All too often people confuse the quantity of time they spend with their partner as quality time, but they’re different- simply seeing more of each other does not build a lasting marriage. So, sync up your Blackberries and schedule a date night at least once a week  (but put them away at dinner, texting while eating is rude!).
Be Sure To Give Each Other Enough Space :
We all need time for ourselves, but sometimes newlyweds confuse “alone time” with an imaginary rift in their relationship. Try not to be too sensitive about your partner wanting a little me-time, and make sure you take some time as well. It’s important to give each other some space in order to maintain a sense of self-identity- after all, it’s what your partner found attractive in the first place.
Don’t Feel Rushed Into Having Children:
Make sure you and your “new roommate” spend enough time being married before you start adding to your list of new life-roles. Children can add stress and new challenges to a relationship – although well worth it! So, it’s important that couples spend time adjusting to marriage before they start giving out their address to all the local storks. If you’re really eager to get your family underway consider testing the responsibility waters by starting with a puppy. Puppies are great because they rarely get caught smoking behind the gym after school.
Use Your Words:
We’ve all heard it countless times in grade school: “use your words”; and yet, we often neglect this crucial piece of advice as we mature. When you are your partner disagree make sure that you are avoiding emotionally driven arguments that quickly become competitions over who can scream the loudest, or be the first to cry. The two of you should take little breaks when emotions begin to steer the conversation…you know, count to 10….or 100…. Or maybe even to a 1000 with a little counting cocktail if that’s what you need to relax and think clearly.
*   “counting cocktails” are effective after fights as well!!
Keeping The Balance In Family Ties:
Most people don’t merge their families flawlessly. It’s important that new couples have a balance with their in-laws that works. If that means establishing boundaries about how much and when you see family, or trying harder to smile when your mother-in-law gives helpful, but not asked for, bits of advice, they key is to find a balance that works. The two of you should have a talk about family time with in-laws. Even things as little as where to go on Thanksgiving, can become sources of stress in a relationship- really work hard to compromise with each other even if that means dinner at one house and dessert at another.

We love our past, present, and future couples! And we wish you all the happiness your marriage and new life together brings. Keep these tips in mind! <3

 The Emily Weddings Team

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